Holiday Advice from Sage Jennifer Nielsen December 17, 2022

Holiday Advice from Sage

(With unwanted and frankly, unhelpful input from his friends)

Holiday Advice #1

When faced with an enemy, always watch the eyes. Before anyone attacks, they have the thought to do it. Strike as soon as they have the thought, not when they attack.

Sometimes I attack without thinking first. Now you know why.

IMOGEN: Sage, this is supposed to be holiday advice. 

It is. Do you want someone getting into a sword fight during the holidays? Not me! But there’s more device.

Holiday Advice #2

If you receive a present, and it’s ticking, you should destroy it at once. Yes, it could be a clock or a very nice watch, but why take the risk?

TOBIAS: Is that what happened to the watch I gave you last year?

No, I got the watch, but I just didn’t like it. Fink has it now. 

Holiday Advice #3

Don’t start a war over the holidays. In general, don’t start any war ever, but especially not during the holidays. Did you ever try to eat a holiday pudding while fighting a war? Probably not, because you can’t do both. Choose the pudding instead.

Holiday Advice #4

Every holiday season, make sure to give a little something to your enemies.

AMARINDA: That’s a thoughtful way to spread peace.

Actually, I meant like giving a little Boltec root into their tea. By sunset, they’ll break out in boils. It’s really funny.

AMARINDA: That’s not thoughtful at all.

It is. Believe me, I put a lot of thought into to that one.

Holiday Advice #5

No gift is more valuable than being with the people you love. Everything you own in the world can be destroyed by a single army attack on your castle. If your loved ones are with you, then it will be all right. 

Those of you who have experienced this personally will know exactly what I mean.

Special thanks to a few fans who have created some amazing art over the past few months. You all never cease to amaze me!

From Hannah
From Avery
Uncredited

As a final reminder, remember there is a giveaway for an ARC of ICEBERG, my next novel, ending on December 22nd. You can read the details and enter on the December 6th post. If you haven’t entered yet, head over there now for a chance to win!

23 Comments
  • Reply
    December 17, 2022, 2:04 pm

    The advice is well received. Thank you. I will make sure not to start any wars over the holidays… except maybe a nerf gun war with my brothers. 🙂

  • Reply
    December 17, 2022, 4:36 pm

    ah great post mrs. nielsen! sage never disappoints with his humor!

  • Reply
    December 20, 2022, 5:19 am

    I love this!!

    • Reply
      February 7, 2023, 10:12 pm

      I know right the books that jennifer writes are amazing

  • Reply
    December 20, 2022, 6:22 pm

    Love the short story, read it out loud to my family all were laughing 😂

  • Reply
    December 20, 2022, 6:51 pm

    Did you really write a story called Storm? On YouTube there’s a person who reads The Shattered Castle and after it they read a short story about Jaron’s daughter.

    • Reply
      December 25, 2022, 5:30 am

      I did write it. Not sure who was reading it though…

      • Reply
        December 25, 2022, 3:43 pm

        Oh cool! How/ where can we read it?

    • Reply
      December 25, 2022, 5:42 am

      Where can I find this short story?! I’m obsessed with the Ascendance Series and would love to read or listen to this!!
      Thanks! 🥰

  • Reply
    December 20, 2022, 8:50 pm

    Oh my goodness I love this so much! You are by far my favorite author ever.

  • Reply
    December 20, 2022, 10:06 pm

    This is great lol
    We love you Jaron ❤️

  • Reply
    December 21, 2022, 6:38 am

    A blessed and joyous Christmas to you and to your family, my favorite author. Sending you my warmest greetings.

  • Reply
    December 21, 2022, 2:03 pm

    I love this! It made me giggle while reading it!

  • Reply
    December 23, 2022, 5:06 am

    💖💖💖 I love this series so much! Sage and Imogen are my favorite characters! I love all of them though 🤣

    Thanks for such an awesome book series!!!

  • Reply
    January 5, 2023, 12:57 am

    This is the only book series I’ve read where I’ve truly laughed at the protagonist over and over again! And now over the holidays, I’m laughing again! Jaron hasn’t lost his touch! Thank you for the brilliant series!

  • Reply
    January 8, 2023, 5:21 am

    I miss Jaron so much!!😭

  • Reply
    January 10, 2023, 9:25 pm

    Quick question.. Why do you still say Sage when writing these short stories?

  • Reply
    January 26, 2023, 3:15 am

    You are my favorite author, I just finished reading The False Prince, my first of your books.
    I really want to read more though!🥰
    And thank you Sage for that great holiday advice!

    • Reply
      April 16, 2023, 9:14 pm

      The False Prince is the best book ever, just so you know.

  • Reply
    February 7, 2023, 7:53 pm

    Hey I love your books I read all of your entire books But the one I love the most is the false prince the first book I read from your series.

  • Reply
    February 7, 2023, 9:54 pm

    hey my best author in the whole entire world I read all of your books I can’t stop reading the false prince.

  • Reply
    March 30, 2023, 2:41 pm

    Hello!
    I’m a bit late to the sage-gives-holiday-advice party but loved it nonetheless. I just wanted to ask you a question. The whole fandom is so incredibly excited about a potential False Prince screen adaptation, we wish you the best of luck pitching it!!! But I was just wondering if the photos you posted on Instagram were of the actual cast or just people cosplaying as the characters? And if it is the latter, would you be open to casting fans? Or is that beyond your control?
    Can’t wait to hear more about the whole process

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