My end of week got a little crazy, so I threw out Throwin’ It Out There Thursday, and I’m combining today’s post with Sassy Saturday 3. Today’s Sass comes from book 3, THE SHADOW THRONE.
To win an ARC of THE CAPTIVE KINGDOM, give me your favorite sass from THE SHADOW THRONE! The contest will end on Tuesday, Sept 22nd.
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Here’s mine:
“Are those my only options?” I asked.
“Did you have another one in mind?”
“Two nooses. I’m looking at your neck, and Conner’s.”
“This is my offer. I’ll let you hang me twice. I won’t even put up a fuss the second time.”
My favorite sass from Shadow Throne was probably when Kippenger was trying to take Jaron to Farthenwood to meet Vargan for his execution.
“‘I can’t follow behind Terrowic’s horse,’ I protested. ‘The smell will be unbearable.’
‘All horses smell the same,’ Kippenger replied.
But I eyed Terrowic. ‘I wasn’t talking about the horse.’”
There’s definitely a lot.
“I can’t follow behind Terrowic’s horse,” I protested. “The smell will be unbearable.”
“All horses smell the same,” Kippenger replied.
But I eyed Terrowic. “I wasn’t talking about the horse.”
I SAID THE SAME THING HAHAHAHA 😂😂
-“It rained that night, and she and I were forced to take shelter beneath some thick underbrush. It was cold and so dark we could barely see our own fingers, and the night seemed to last forever.”
“I’m beginning to wonder if you understand what ‘not awful’ means,” I muttered.
The Shadow Throne has soooo many good ones, I’m gonna have to share my three favorites instead of just one. And, Jennifer, don’t enter me in the contest since I already have an ARC (and read it. It was mind-blowing amazing!!!! Definitely worth the wait!)
#1. “Gelyn fights like bedridden grandmothers, only with longer knitting needles.”
#2. “‘I could send my nursemaids out here to fight those men.’
“‘I’m sorry you have such little value for your nursemaids. We invite them to become Carthyan citizens.'”
#3. “This is my offer. I’ll let you hang me twice. I won’t even put up a fuss the second time.”
The first scene in the prologue has so many GOLD moments it’s hard to choose! But I think my favorite is this exchange :
“You can’t lead anything on a broken leg.” “Then maybe you shouldn’t have broken it!” I said. “I should’ve broken your jaw instead,” Roden countered. “Then I wouldn’t have to listen to your ridiculous orders!”
Haha! I like the last one. And also this one:
“This boy can’t be hanged in a coat with the Avenían colors,” Conner said. “Remove his chains so I can get this off of him.”
“We should ask the king’s permission first,” Kippenger offered.
“By the end of today I will be Carthya’s king. This outfit offends me!”
“Carthya is honored to offended you,” I said.
LOVE this one, too!!
Ooh. Thank you! Love your too.
This one is probably my favorite 😀
There are so many amazing sassy moments, but the one where Mott and Jaron ride into town is pretty great.
“Invaders of our country, we sentence you to death, under the name of King Jaron is Carthya. Have you any last words?”
“Yes, I do, actually.” I stripped off the helmet I wore so that she might see me better. “Before using that sword, you should know that my name is King Jaron of Carthya.”
“I wish you would have came. I would’ve loved for you to meet his fate. Preferred it, actually.”
-The Shadow Throne
Roden putting out a fire and also splashing men
yesss lol
“Very well, Jaron, you have sealed your doom.”
“So said the last man I defeated.”
Also I love the lines after that:
Mott turned to me. “Are you insane?!?”
I smiled.
Mott sighed. “Of course you are.”
Anddddd this one:
Without opening his eyes, he whispered, “Is it safe?”
I coughed out a quiet laugh. “Of course not. You know where we are, don’t you?”
Now Tobias opened his eyes and maneuvered his way to a seated position. “How’d you know I was awake?”
“People who’ve fainted don’t peek when they think no one’s watching.”
Okay, I really need to stop adding quotes, and I promise this is the last one:
Terrowic, the man from whom I’d stolen the keys, suddenly began patting around for them.
“I’ve lost my keys,” he said to the other vigil with me.
“My vigils never lose their keys,” I muttered. “In Carthya, we’re not that stupid.”
I absolutely love all of Jaron’s sass!!
“One of the greatest kings?” My smile widened. “That’s it? Why not the greatest?”
“This will only make your arrogance worse, I’m sure.”
“Really? Do you think that’s possible?”
One of my favorite quotes: “One of the greatest kings?” My smile widened. “That’s it? Why not the greatest?”
“This will only make your arrogance worse, I’m sure.”
“Really? Do you think that’s possible?”
“I wouldn’t sign so much as my toenail clippings over to you” and “you’ll get nothing from me, ever, you dog-breath, rotted corpse of a king.”
I think one of the things I envy most about Jaron is his sense of sass 👌
Hey jen can you make imogen say bruh in the next book
Haha, she probably should.
“Back in Carthya, you have a large number of soldiers stationed on a bluff, far from any fighting, and overlooking a lake that no longer exists. Why is that?”
“You’ve asked me this already.”
“And you refused to answer. So I’m asking again. Why is your army there?”
“It should be obvious,” I said without looking at him. “They’re waiting for the lake to come back. Perhaps you could join them and go swimming.”
“And is there any epitaph you want added?”
The words had already formed in my mind, and yet I waited until I was looking directly at him before I said, “Here lies Imogen of Bultain. Whose death prompted a revenge that marked the final days of King Vargan.”
I always have a hard time choosing favorites but here’s a sass from Jaron that I really like:
Fish Breath: “One of our newer recruits got into some trouble near here. He told us about you.”
Jaron: “He told us about you too. Though your recruit didn’t get the description of your odor quite right. He said it was similar to a skunk’s, but I think that’s unkind to the skunk.” (I love the skunk quote so much that I recite it all the time!)
Here’s another one I like:
“‘You gave her the key and not me? I could be free already.’ I smiled at Roden. ‘Yes, but I wasn’t going to kiss you.’ ‘Fair enough,’ he said with a laugh.” (Roden can be so funny. lol)
Thank you for the contest.
“I don’t wish to offend your king, of course, but it’s clear his reasoning abilities have abandoned him…”
“You will not insult the king of Mendenwal!” the commander cried.
“It’s not an insult. Only an observation of fact. The only reason King Humfrey would invade my country is because he was either threatened or else Avenia promised him something gold and shiny… For your own sake, Commander, I urge you to ride home as fast as your wobbly horse can carry you.”
The commander’s face tightened, which nearly made me laugh. I hadn’t deliberately made anyone this angry since Master Graves had attempted to teach me my letters at Farthenwood so many months ago, and it felt good.
… “I could send my nursemaids out here to fight those men.”
“I’m sorry you have such little value for your nursemaids. We invite them to become Carthyan citizens…”
… The commander looked to his companions, who snorted their disdain for me, and then he said, “Very well, King Jaron. You have sealed your doom.”
“So said the last man I defeated. Off you go, then! Bring me your worst, and hurry! I was awake early and am hoping for a nap this afternoon.”
As the Mendenwal group rode away, Mott turned to me and said, “Are you insane?” I smiled back at him and he said, “Of course you are. Please tell me you have a plan.”
“Here’s my plan,” I replied. “We stay right here. Do you know any tunes to whistle while we wait?”
Apparently, Mott did not know any tunes for whistling, but he did work in a nice chorus of grunts and sighs.
“Avenia thinks they’re battling a king. I doubt they’re prepared to fight a boy who thinks childish pranks are practical strategies for war.”
“Aren’t they?”
and
“I wasn’t exactly sure how I could possibly steal a cannon, but I loved the idea of trying.”
Sage’s fascination with gunpowder and cannons was one of my favorite (comical ish) parts of Shadow Throne
I love all the sassy, but I would love to say my favorite is the last one. Sage is so good at coming up with comebacks 😊
“One of the greatest kings?” My smile widened. “That’s it? Why not the greatest?”
“This will only make your arrogance worse, I’m sure.”
“Really? Do you think that’s possible?”
Jaron has so much epic sass, it’s hard to choose, but one of my favorites is when Vargan thinks he signed the treaty, but he actually wrote, “You’ll get nothing from me, ever, you dog-breath, rotted corpse of a king.” XD
I liked the last Sassy last photo!! “You look terrible…” “… at least I have an excuse”
This one is my favourite.
Today’s recipes included an extra ingredient of Ayagall. Ayagall was a weed the grew plentifully near the orphanage where I’d lived, and was the source of many a lively joke when life grew dull. Even small amounts guaranteed a full days vomiting. Suddenly, the mystery of why Mrs. Turbeldy hated me so much was solved.
My favorite sass from this story is not just from Jaron, but Roden as well….
“Bringing you to this castle was the greatest mistake of my life!” I yelled. My fists were curled so tightly into balls that it felt as if my nails might pierce my skin. “And I would order your hanging right now, except that your neck isn’t worth the price of the rope!”
….
“I would gladly die,” Roden yelled back, “if the order came from less of a fool for a king.”
…..
“You can’t lead anything on a broken leg.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have broken it!” I said.
“I should have broken your jaw instead,” Roden countered. “Then I wouldn’t have to listen to your ridiculous orders.”
This whole argument is great. It says a lot right out of the gate and really grabs your attention. I loved every second of this fight.
Here are a few honorable mentions…
“I’m told you won’t eat,” he finally said.
“Avenian food tastes like salted dung,” I muttered.
He nodded and is there any epitaph you want added?”
The words had already formed in my mind, and yet I waited until I was looking directly at him before I said, “Here lies Imogen of Bultain. Whose death prompted a revenge that marked the final days of King Vargan.”
I was flipping through the book, trying to remember which lines were in which one, and found this goodie. “She was about to kiss me when you dragged me away. That alone is good enough reason for the revenge I’m bringing you.”
I do also love the ‘does the bear have the fish’ line :{)
This is my favorite Sassy Saturday quote from The Shadow Throne! I know Mrs. Nielsen already posted this one, but I can’t think of any better one!
“Vargan shifted his weight and looked over me. ‘Captivity has been hard on you. You look terrible.’
‘So do you. At least I have an excuse.'”
Never have I found a book series with so much sass, so it was very difficult to find my favorite part! Though Jaron (excuse me, King Jaron) will forever be known as the sass king who weaponizes insults, there is another, more unexpected source of sass.
“Clearly, you know nothing about a girl’s wedding day. If I’m at the altar with Jaron as he rides off to war, what part of his horse do you suppose I’ll end up kissing?”
Amarinda, the ever-graceful princess, has become the Sass Queen! I like to imagine that between Tobias and Amarinda, she teases him whenever he gets too uptight. I wish Tobias the best of luck, and he’s gonna need it, living with such sassy people around him!
How does Tobias handles it all? 😉 I totally agree with you, Greeshma!!
This is so hard to pick!!!! I’ve narrowed it down to two.
1. “‘You’ll get nothing from me, ever, you dog-breath, rotted corpse of a king.’” I absolutely love this quote because, well, it’s hilarious, and it goes to show that despite everything he’s done, Conner is still a ‘patriot’ in the end… though in a twisted way. Conner could’ve easily told Vargan that Jaron didn’t sign his name, though he didn’t. He even hinted at the success of Jaron’s plan earlier, the situation of Conner trying do what HE thinks is necessary for the country, which brings me to the next quote.
2. *Conner ranting about all the plans Jaron has ruined* “…do you understand me?”
… “Yes, Sir Master Conner.”
The reason for me loving this moment and quote so much is the throwback ALL the way back to when Jaron was Sage at the orphanage, and Conner tells Sage to address him by either sir or master Conner, and Sage says “What are you wanting me for, Sir Master Conner.” I just appreciate the nod all the way back to book 1 in book 3. It reflects the situation itself, and the parallelism of the entire thing. Book 1 Sage(Jaron of course) was a prisoner of Conner, and Book 3 Jaron was essentially a prisoner of him once again. It also makes the ‘reunion’ of Conner and the 3 orphans (ignoring the fact that Roden is actually not an orphan) even more called for.
I believe the art of the situation is just magnificent, and well played. And of course Jaron was ready to go out with a bang with his ‘signature’ (also honorable mention of him saying he wouldn’t sign so much as his toenail clippings over to vargan). I can’t help but think about if nobody actually checked Jaron’s signature and Jaron was actually hanged, so when Vargan goes back to the document later and everything is ruined lol.
I love Jaron’s attitude throughout the former trilogy, and I am looking forward to book 4 to get some more of his humor!!!!!
Yes, the “Sir Master Conner” is one of my absolute favorite parts of the Shadow Throne.
“One of the greatest kings?” My smile widened. “That’s it? Why not the greatest?”
“This will only make your arrogance worse, I’m sure.”
“Really? Do you think that’s possible?”
Can you do multiple entries for this contest or only one?
Multiple.
This one is one of my favourite.
Even before they left, I could tell Mott was ready to scold me in the severest tone.I dreaded it, feeling as master graves, my father, and the chapel priest had all combined there energies to prove once and for all how wrong I am.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t make this fight.”
“I won’t, but you make everything a fight.”
“They called you ‘sire’ back there,” one Gelynian shouted at me.
“Is it possible we have the boy king here ?”
Yeah, I’m here,” I said. “But thinking you have me is a delusion. Does the fish have a bear just because it’s with the reach of its claws?”
Roden quickly embraced me, and then said, “ what are you doing here? When I asked for more soldiers, I didn’t intend for you to come.”
“Yes, but I was bored”
“I’m told you won’t eat” he said finally.
“Avenian food tastes like salted dung,” I muttered.
“I expected some humility. I could let you die in here.”
“I wish you would.”
“ We immediately sent word of your death far and wide, along with an offer to your prime regent for peaceful surrender.”
“I’m glad you’re offering,” I said. “He’ll happily accept your offer.”
“King jaron, just before your regents arrived, I was about to give orders concerning you. Can you guess what for?”
“ you want to set me free, to save yourself any embarrassment after I Escape.”
I. Love. This. One. Too!!! Jaron is the best!!!
1. Temporarily out of the path of any Gelynians, Roden quickly embraced me, and then said, “What are you doing here? When I asked for more soldiers, I didn’t intend for you to come.”
“Yes, but I was bored.”
2. “I’m a terrible captain!” Roden said. “You can’t convince me otherwise.”
“Oh no, I agree with that,” I said. “You are terrible.”
3. “Call your men to attention,” I said to Roden. “Talk to them as their captain.”
“And say what?”
“Well, they did just win a major battle,” I scowled. “You might mention that.”
4. Roden began by addressing the men. “You fought well,” he said. “Another battle is coming soon and so I hope you will get some rest tonight.”
He looked over at me and I muttered, “That was the worst speech anyone has ever given. Ever. Work on that too.”
5. I started to walk on , but a tall soldier with the markings of being their captain stepped forward and said, “We won’t be imprisoned for long. We’re only the advance group. Gelyn will pour out the whole of it’s strength with the army that is still coming.”
“The whole of what strength?” I asked. “Gelyn fights like bedridden grandmothers, only with longer knitting needles.”
“They’re not three days behind us,” he said. “And Mendenwal is coming too. Once we have defeated your men here, we will attack Drylliad and destroy everything there that moves.”
I snorted. “Your needles pierce walls now?”
Thank you for the contests!!
Finding these made me re-read the whole book, and I found some good ones that I missed.
Terrowic: We’ll determine what’s useless.
Jaron: I’m certain that you understand uselessness better than anyone.
“King Jaron, just before your regent arrived, I was about to give orders concerning you. Can you guess what for?”
“You want to set me free, to save yourself any embarrassment after I escape.”
Here are some tributes to Jaron giving everyone a piece of his mind despite being a prisoner for a decent part of the book. 🙂
#1
Kippenger’s vigils gripped Terrowic’s arms and started to lead him away, still protesting. With everyone watching Terrowic, I clicked my tongue to get his attention. I looked down at my ankle, wiggled it back and forth, then winked at him. He pointed at me and made an objection, but by then my expression had returned to one of appropriate pain and suffering, and he was quickly whisked back up the stairs for his punishment.
#2
“The papers of surrender are being drawn up even as we speak,” Vargan said. “You will sign them at first light and die immediately after.”
“That doesn’t give me much time, then,” I said.
“For what?”
My glare began with Conner, then moved back to Vargan. “Not much time to win this war. You two had better spend tonight preparing your souls for the devils’ lair. Because after tomorrow, that’ll be your home.”
“Avenia thinks they’re battling a king. I doubt they’re prepared to fight a boy who thinks childish pranks are practical strategies for war.”
“Aren’t they?”
Once we were alone, Imogen unfolded her hand. In it, she held the key to the chains. I had passed it to her while we were in the embrace. Roden noticed it and scowled. “You gave her the key and not me? I could be free already.”
I smiled at him. “Yes, but I wasn’t going to kiss you.”
“Fair enough”
Here are my favorites! I couldn’t narrow it down to less than five, because they were all so amazing I couldn’t pick.
“They wore the yellow and white colors of Mendenwal, unusual colors for an army. I hated the thought that we might be defeated by soldiers who looked as if they were wearing daisies.”
“We stay right here. Do you know any tunes to whistle while we wait?” Apparently, Mott did not know any tunes for whistling, but he did work in a nice chorus of grunts and sighs.”
Roden wasn’t convinced. “How big of a fuss will this require?” I grinned.
“Catastrophic levels of bad behavior. Trust me, it’ll be fun.” “You have a sick idea of fun.” (Roden and Jaron together are always hilarious!)
“I said a farewell to Kippenger that included my wishes for him to develop boils in his armpits, and then told him to be more careful with me next time.”
“Oh, that? My foot got cold in the night.” “Only your foot?” “It’s always been extra sensitive. Like my feelings.” (This one is my favorite! It makes me laugh out loud every single time I read it.)
One of the other awesome things I noticed is that Jaron calls Conner “Sir Master Conner” during the last scene, just like he did in the first book, every time he wanted to sass Conner.
I just had to mention these, as I love the banter between Jaron and Roden, who were enemies just one book ago!
“I’m a terrible captain!” Roden said. “You can’t convince me otherwise.”
“Oh no, I agree with that,” I said. “You are terrible.”
This one was just such an unexpected response, it caught me so off guard the first time I read it and I spent a solid minute just laughing!
“He has a skinny neck. He’d have died faster.”
“That’s why you chose me? Because it’ll take me longer to die?”
“Yes, Roden, that’s exactly why.”
The last line was so full of sardonic tone I could literally HEAR Jaron rolling his eyes and drawling “Yes, Roden, that’s exactly why.”
My favorite one is this:
“While in captivity, you lied to Avenia about our plans.”
“Yes.”
“And now you wish to change all our actual plans to fit those lies?”
“It seemed like a good idea.”
He stared at me for a moment, and then shrugged. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“If I don’t, then you’ll always be there to point out my mistakes.”
lollll hahahahha
“If you hurt deeply, then it means you love deeply too. love is powerful thing, Jaron. In the end, love will help you win this war.”
I chuckled, “That’d be a fine new strategy, I think. When the enemy wields a sword against me, I’ll simply express my love for them. They’ll be so shocked, they’ll collapse on the spot and the victory will be mine.”
“I daresay you will be the first to claim victory that way.”
I love that one… is it just me or when you read that do you think of Harry Potter? You know the way they’re always saying Harry’s more powerful than Voldemort because he has love, anyway it just makes me think of that so Jaron maybe you won’t be the first one to win that way
Haha mine is probably after Roden have his speech to his men after the first battle in the beginning of the book, after the speech Jaron goes up to roden and tells him “That was the worst speech anyone has given. Ever. Work on that too.”
Roden licked his lips as he stared at me. “Tell me you didn’t hear all that.”
“One of the greatest kings?” My smile widened. “That’s it? Why not the greatest?”
“This will only make your arrogance worse, I’m sure.”
“Really? Do you think that’s possible?”
1. “Pardon my observation,” Orison said. “But you are as young as your king. Why did Jaron choose you as his captain?”
“I’m still asking myself that question,” Roden answered. “If you figure it out, please let me know.”
2. “I could send my nursemaids out here to fight those men.”
“I’m sorry you have such little value for your nursemaids. We invite them to become Carthyan citizens.”
3. “Why is there a bandage around your ankle?”
“Oh, that? My foot got cold in the night.”
“Only your foot?”
“It’s always been extra sensitive. Like my feelings.”
4. I smiled back at him. “You require spectacles for reading, but don’t want people to see you using them. Some might consider that vanity. I consider it foolish. You should have read my signature.”
1. Despite her attempts to remain serious, Amarinda giggled. “Avenia thinks ther’re battling a king. I doubt they’re prepared to fight a boy who thinkschildish pranks are practical strategies for war.”
“Aren’t they?” I said…”
2. Roden noticed the key and scowled. “You gave her the key and not me? I could be free alreay.”
I smiled at him. “Yes but I wasn’t going to kiss you.
LOL, these are some of my favorites, too. Man, Jaron was extra sassy for the third book!!
Here are three of my absolute favorites:
……
1.
The commander gestured to the hundred men far behind me… “I could send my nursemaids out here to fight those men.”
“I’m sorry you have such little value for your nursemaids. We invite them to become Carthyan citizens.”
……
2.
The weight of my attention shifted to Vargan. “This is my offer. I’ll let you hang me twice. I won’t even put up a fuss the second time.”
…..
3.
“I can’t follow behind Terrowic’s horse,” I protested. “The smell will be unbearable.”
“All horses smell the same,” Kippinger replied.
But I eyed Terrowic. “I wasn’t talking about the horse.”
…..
😂😂😂
My favorite sass is when Tobias and Amarinda fell in love, and Jaron told Amarinda that it would be funny to tell Tobias he would execute him. Needless to say, she wasn’t pleased 😂
“Back in Carthya, you have a large number of soldiers stationed on a bluff, far from any fighting, and overlooking a lake that no longer exists. Why is that?”
“You’ve asked me this already.”
“And you refused to answer. So I am asking you again. Why is your army there?”
“It should be obvious,” I said without looking at him. “They’re waiting for the lake to come back. Perhaps you could join them and go swimming.”😂
Vargan leaned forward enough to reach me. I turned my face away, but he pinched my cheeks with his meaty fingers and forced me to look at him. “I’m offering you peace, and a chance to live. This is the only way you’ll leave this camp alive.”
He was close enough now that when I spit, it hit him directly in the eye. I had aimed for his cheek, but this was better.
“If I care nothing for my own life,” I said bitterly, “just imagine how I feel about yours.”
“King Jaron, just before your regent arrived, I was about to give orders concerning you. Can you guess what for?”
“You want to set me free, to save yourself any embarrassment after I escape.”
“I can’t follow behind Terrowic’s horse,” I protested. “The smell will be unbearable.”
“All horses smell the same,” Kippenger replied.
But I eyed Terrowic. “I wasn’t talking about the horse.”
“One of the greatest kings?” My smile widened. “That’s it? Why not the greatest?”
“This will only make your arrogance worse, I’m sure.”
“Really? Do you think that’s possible?”
I love the quote about the fish and the bear.
Here’s my other favorite sassy quote:
“If you hurt deeply, then it means you love deeply too. Love is a powerful thing, Jaron. In the end, love will help you win this war.”
I chuckled. “That’d be a fine new strategy, I think. When the enemy wields a sword against me, I’ll simply express my love for them. They’ll be so shocked, they’ll collapse on the spot and the victory will be mine.”
“I daresay you will be the first to claim victory that way.”
“It’s not my business to tell the king how he should behave at his own father’s funeral, but–”
“You’re quite right, Gregor. It isn’t you business.”
I also like
“Mrs. Turbeldy warned me that you have a history of running away. Where do you go?”
“To church, of course. To confess my sins.”